Properly, Shimano Hollowtechgate is now getting into its inevitable Erin Brockovich section with a class-action lawsuit:

Principally, Shimano is simply changing cranks which can be already within the technique of failing, which leaves everybody else in a “horrifying place:”

I hope for the plaintiffs’ sake that the choose is just not a retrogrouch, as a result of by no means in 1,000,000 years will they purchase this “I purchased an ultralight plastic bike however now unexpectedly I’m actually scared” argument from the Freds. You’re using a motorcycle you possibly can squeeze like a roll of Charmin however you’re instantly deathly afraid of the crank? Please:

By the best way, not like that roll of Charmin, you possibly can really harm the body just by squeezing it:

Furthermore, the one approach to discover out for positive in case you’ve broken it or not is to provide it an ultrasound prefer it’s pregnant. With so many individuals prepared to trip bikes like that is it actually stunning Shimano figured they may as properly simply glue their cranks collectively to save lots of just a few extra grams? To not blame the victims right here, however I’m completely blaming the victims, as a result of the Freds actually convey plenty of this on themselves by shopping for gear designed for sponsored professionals after which complaining when–shock!–it’s lower than the pains of being ridden transported and saved season after season by somebody who doesn’t make use of a group {of professional} mechanics.

Anyway, right here’s the go well with:

In addition to risking harm, riders are additionally compelled to endure cranksets of diminishing worth:

Happily, any rider who is really fearful of their bonded Hollowtech crank can purchase peace of thoughts comparatively cheaply:

[I do not endorse the seller, I’m just using it as an example.]

Better of all you don’t even want a brand new backside bracket–simply take away your bonded crank, set up this one, and pedal away in your Charmin bike.

As for why Trek can be named within the class motion lawsuit, possibly it’s due to that freaky notch they put in the brand new Madone:

It seems to be like a tomcat’s ear:

What does a notched ear imply? It means the cat is each aero and laterally stiff but vertically compliant, foolish!

I by no means imagined I’d turn out to be the biking equal of a doomsday prepper, hoarding steel bikes and mechanical elements in anticipation of the Fred-pocalypse, however right here we’re.

Shifting on, I lately talked about the retirement of a bicycle advocate:

And I lately observed he’s already again, so welcome again:

There are about 1,000,000 issues mistaken with “automobile tradition,” however I’ve observed that the current pattern amongst urbanists is to assault everybody else the place they dwell–actually–by saying that their homes are silly:

Hey, not less than they’ve room to do donuts on their very own property as a substitute of on a public roadway:

As I simply talked about, there are about 1,000,000 issues mistaken with “automobile tradition,” and virtually all of them are conveniently on show in that video.

Anyway, I get that the urbanists need DENSITY DENSITY DENSITY, and it’s actually silly to fill cities with parking heaps or require new residence buildings close to prepare stations to even have parking for each single resident, but when somebody needs an unpleasant driveway in entrance of their home as a substitute of some crops is there something actually mistaken with that? At the very least they’re utilizing the house, and the automobile’s not saved out on the street. Like, does anyone really use this house?

And presumably along with the house they’re additionally utilizing the automobile, whereas no one really makes use of many of the different stuff you may put in entrance of your own home, like a fountain:

Or a big squirrel:

After all I’m positive the urbanist reply is that we shouldn’t have any of these issues, that personal yards are evil, and that single-family homes are a coverage failure. In truth I’m stunned no one’s promoting “One Much less Home” stickers to place in your residence door but. (At the very least so far as I do know.) Regardless, folks work arduous for his or her houses, and it appears to me you aren’t going to get too far with them by telling them how dumb their homes are.

Fuck it, I’m shopping for an enormous squirrel statue.