Bike lanes.

Bike lanes are the inexperienced display upon which we venture our values and our identities; our hopes and our goals. For some folks, bike lanes imply we’re leaving automobile dependence again within the twentieth century the place it belongs, and returning our automobile-ravaged cities to the folks. For others, bike lanes characterize an encroaching military of entitled suburb-reared younger professionals who need to “return” to an idyllic city way of life that most likely by no means existed within the first place. Then there are the Bike Lane Freds who know all the town planning jargon and critique and debate the nuances of each new bike lane: “Paint just isn’t safety and with a view to effectuate a long-lasting modal shift we’d like fewer mixing zones and a contra-flow bidirectional configuration with bollards and medians and a totally new intersection remedy yada-yada-yada ZZZzzz….”

Then there’s the Bronx the place the DOT places in a brand new bike lane and folks simply do regardless of the fuck they need with it–and infrequently does it have something to do with with bikes. Most of them are taken over by what the New York Instances in its inimitable patronizing-people-in-order-to-elevate-them method calls “guerilla automobile washers:”

Although typically they’re simply used for good old school parking:

I hadn’t come this manner in awhile, so I used to be shocked to see a brand new protected bike lane and devoted bus lane, however I used to be fully unsurprised to search out it stuffed with automobiles from finish to finish:

To be truthful, I don’t know precisely when this bike lane went in, and there may be normally no less than per week or two earlier than folks cease parking in them, so possibly I simply acquired there early. Nonetheless, it’s a little bit over seven miles from the Willis Avenue Bridge within the South Bronx to the place I stay, and over the previous 10 years this route has gone from having completely no bike lanes to having fairly a number of miles of motorbike lanes–and I’d say virtually each bit of motorbike lane is unusable because of some type of repurposing, whether or not it’s automobile washing or truck loading or automobile restore or good old school parking as seen above. The entire scenario is an actual polygon helios, which is a logical conundrum not dissimilar to a catch-22:.

Simply kidding!

No, a Polygon Helios is a sort of bike:

Have you ever ever checked out all these new highway bikes and puzzled, “Is that actually aero, or do they only need it to look aero?” Effectively, it seems {that a} lof of the time it’s most likely the second factor:

Not that that is new, thoughts you; Campagnolo C-Report was additionally presupposed to look all glossy and aero, however I’m betting when you put a Delta brake in a wind tunnel the entire system would again up and explode like a stopped-up rest room:

I did discover the above overview compelling although as a result of as an previous retired sub-mediocre Cat 3 I used to be curious to see what’s thought-about a “whole lot” for a highway bike today, and at a worth of 4 Thousand American Enjoyable Tickets the Polygon Helios is seemingly a “discount.” The widespread conception is that highway bike costs are going loopy, however when you crunch the numbers (and ignore the actually costly bikes no person buys anyway) the reality is you may arguably do as properly or higher now than you could possibly “then” (at any time when “then” was). Nonetheless, on a visceral stage $4,000 doesn’t really feel “discount,” and 25 years in the past a 105-equipped bike with (then) cutting-edge supplies went for one thing like $1,600, which is like $3,000 as we speak:

“Ah, but it surely’s not aero!,” it’s possible you’ll be tempted to level out.

Effectively, consider it or not, these rims really have been thought-about aero again then:

It minimize via the air like a woden dowel via a hunk of frozen cheddar cheese.

Although it’s price noting the highway bike was at one thing of a nadir 25 years in the past, which can have artificially lowered the costs. By 1998 firms like Cannondale listed the mountain bikes earlier than the highway bikes of their catalogs, since People have been nonetheless wild for mountain bikes–I imply they by no means really rode them, however they certain beloved to purchase them and depart them of their garages. After all that each one modified quite dramatically a 12 months later:

However 1998 was a way more harmless time when everybody was doped to the gills however no person cared as a result of they have been all European.

The opposite noteworthy distinction between that previous Cannondale and the brand new hunk of plastic is that the Cannondale was cheaper regardless of being made domestically and by an organization that spent numerous cash sponsoring excessive profile professional racers, whereas the Polygon is made abroad and bought direct to the buyer by an organization that’s (I’m assuming) going about sponsorship in a way more conservative trend. Select an organization as we speak that sponsors an enormous staff and also you’ll spend much more–and the identical goes if it’s an organization began by former execs:

Not solely are you paying a premium for the affiliation, however you’re additionally paying for all of the wind tunnel testing…or no less than a photograph shoot that means they’re doing wind tunnel testing:

What occurred in the course of the wind tunnel testing? Had been the outcomes good? Had been they dangerous? The web site doesn’t say. However they did blow some vapor over a man, and that’s gotta be price one thing, proper?

Contador and Basso additionally most likely paid some huge cash to advertising and marketing consultants who knowledgeable them that they need to leverage the enduring recognition of Pinarello’s Dogma by calling their very own top-of-the-line bike the Magma:

Therefore a frameset that prices the identical as that total Polygon.

By the best way, none of that is to say the bikes are dangerous or aren’t definitely worth the cash; it’s simply saying that if you need a narrative round your bike you’re going to pay for it. Hey, invariably if I point out Rivendell somebody complains that their bikes are costly, however they’re greater than only a bike firm, and when you prefer to examine bikes too their web site has extra and higher stuff to learn than most biking web sites, this one included. Equally, Aurum’s web site additionally affords numerous content material, reminiscent of this reply to the age-old query, “Can I journey a highway bike on gravel?”

By no means, ever, ever journey a non-gravel bike on gravel. EVER.

And while you do get a gravel bike, be sure it’s carbon…and a Specialised?

By the best way, Aurum means “gold:”

Which instantly made me consider one of the vital fabulous bicycles ever made:

Sure, the Aurumania Gold Bike Crystal Version value 80,000 Euro-{Dollars} and featured the corporate’s emblem in Swarovski crystals and in Braille:

Additionally, the corporate’s mannequin could or could not have been Ivan Basso:

Nonetheless, it’s a tricky time to start out a motorcycle firm as a former professional. As soon as upon a time when you attained a sure stage of success you could possibly just about rely on folks wanting your title on a motorcycle: Merckx, Coppi, even LeMond… However as we speak when all of the bikes are plastic and folks simply need the most effective deal attainable does the title actually imply something in any respect, not to mention command a premium? I’m all the time shocked once I see somebody using a Cipollini–even when they do supply a customized program:

I couldn’t assist myself, and naturally I selected “gold” for each choice:

Alas, I used to be too afraid to ask for a quote, lest I wind up on some kind of registry.