Six years in the past I awoke with a foul headache assault. My mouth felt like sandpaper. So did my eyeballs. I used to be hungover.

My household and I went to a whole lot of events that vacation season — I’m not complaining — however round New Yr’s Eve I used to be craving a reset.

So I made a decision to surrender consuming in January.

Again then, I didn’t know Dry January was a factor. Nobody in my social circle or household had ever talked about it. Giving up alcohol for the month was simply one thing I wished to strive for myself. The vacations have been over, the children have been going again to high school and it was time to get again to the grind.

The primary 5 days with zero alcohol have been OK. After I instinctively reached for a glass of wine whereas making dinner, I poured flavored water within the glass. It wasn’t the identical, however not that massive of a deal. And why wasn’t I at all times consuming water from a flowery wine glass?

Then Saturday evening rolled round. I went to a bar/restaurant to satisfy some mates. After I politely turned down a drink, the cheerful gathering felt extra like an interrogation.

“Are you pregnant?”

“Are you sick?”

“Are you pregnant … and sick?”

I used to be shocked by the depth of the reactions. Folks have been legitimately involved about me. I shortly realized that my reasoning — a reset after the vacations — wasn’t adequate for them.

To everybody else it was easy: If I wasn’t consuming, there was one thing flawed with me. Did I’ve a consuming drawback? What was actually taking place? And the humorous half was that individuals have been nonetheless shopping for me drinks the whole time — which, once more, I politely declined — and took it personally that I wouldn’t drink them.

I left the bar early considering that this was going to be more durable than I believed. Perhaps everybody was proper. If I haven’t got a consuming drawback and nothing’s flawed with me, why am I doing this?

Then I remembered: I used to be doing this for me. I wasn’t doing it for anybody else. I set a aim and wished to realize it for myself.

Melissa and her youngsters

With my aim in focus, week two was simpler than the primary one. It felt good to get up with a transparent head and extra vitality. When Saturday rolled round I considered simply staying dwelling and never socializing after all of the accusations from the weekend earlier than. Perhaps I ought to keep away from everybody for the whole month.

However I had an excessive amount of concern of lacking out (FOMO). I stay in Michigan surrounded by household and mates and there’s at all times one thing enjoyable happening. So I went out, ordered soda water and began to learn to socialize when everybody else was consuming.

I nonetheless felt awkward at occasions and folks nonetheless gave me a tough time. Some feedback have been extra hurtful than others. That I wasn’t enjoyable or nobody wished to be round me if I wasn’t consuming. I reminded them that I’m nonetheless the identical individual. I’m nonetheless enjoyable. However what folks considered me being sober for somewhat bit mattered much less and fewer because the month went on.

If the primary weekend was an 8 out of 10 on the tough scale, the third weekend was a 2. I used to be pleased with myself. And I felt stronger. I train most days of the week however I discovered I’m extra bold — I get after it extra — after I’m not consuming.

On the finish of the month I believed I might be excited to exit and have a drink or a glass of wine. However by that point it actually didn’t matter to me. I felt good understanding that if I wished to have a Dry January, I may. And the whole lot can be simply superb.

After all, as a result of consuming’s a part of my social life, it may be laborious to not drink in any respect for a complete month. Some years, January appears like six months (thanks Covid!)

However I do it yearly as a result of I like the problem and I like how I really feel after I can accomplish a aim I set for myself. And I do know it’s good for my psychological well being and my physique to take a break every so often.

I now like to inform those that I’m not consuming in January (generally sober September too) as a result of I feel it’s vital to remove the stigma.

I feel many ladies go into social settings with mates or through the holidays not consuming and persons are genuinely involved. They’re upset. They’re disenchanted that you simply’re not consuming. Such as you’re not the identical individual. Like, boo, Melissa, you’re no enjoyable. And that hurts.

With extra folks embracing Dry January today I hope there continues to be extra positivity and extra alternative to speak about it with out judgment or leaping to conclusions (nonetheless not pregnant guys!).

I do know it may be laborious to not drink when everybody round you is pressuring you to do it. However if you wish to do Dry January or flip down a drink for any motive at any time you possibly can. You’re nonetheless enjoyable Melissa. It doesn’t matter what my mates say.

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