As informed to Nicole Audrey Spector

In 2020, I met a person and invited him over for tea. We have been attracted to at least one one other and I used to be ready to have intercourse with him. As soon as we began making out, I took out a condom. He refused to place it on, pinned me down on the mattress and proceeded to have intercourse with me with none safety.

Within the days that adopted, I used to be horrified and ashamed, feeling that I’d helped allow the assault by getting concerned with him within the first place. He texted, asking to see me once more. I declined. He then began urging me to get examined for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). His tone was menacing. I stored asking him, “What do you’ve? What may you’ve handed on to me?” However he wouldn’t say. He appeared to take pleasure in tormenting me as a result of I’d rejected him.

It was unattainable to dig up data on my attacker. I didn’t know his final identify and after our final textual content change, he blocked me. I used to be within the whole limbo of the unknown and satisfied of the worst: that I’d been contaminated with HIV.

I rushed to a clinic to get examined for all STIs. Luckily, every little thing got here again adverse. However this excellent news didn’t erase the trauma I’d skilled. And it made me wish to higher defend myself from getting HIV, whether or not or not it’s from one other assault, a associate who was having secret sexual exercise with others, or a lover who didn’t know or didn’t truthfully disclose their standing.

My greatest good friend is a PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) navigator, and he or she gave me the lowdown on the advantages of PrEP — a extremely efficient medicine for stopping HIV. I used to be accustomed to PrEP, however hadn’t ever thought of it for myself.

“Why don’t you begin taking PrEP so that you don’t have any extra scares?” my good friend stated.

I took her up on her suggestion and went to my healthcare supplier to get began. My physician was tremendous encouraging and supportive and noticed no cause why I shouldn’t be on PrEP. Actually, he inspired me to be on it, and I’ve been on it ever since. I plan to remain on it for the remainder of my life, too. It provides me a fantastic sense of safety, safety and management over my life.

PrEP helps me really feel secure not solely about the potential of one other sexual assault, but in addition in regard to consensual relationships with sexual companions. Even in monogamous relationships, I’ve had companions stray and conceal their sexual betrayals. Who is aware of what individuals carry dwelling with them after they’ve been untrue? What in the event that they aren’t utilizing condoms or the condom breaks?

It’s inspiring to see that PrEP is usually beneficial to homosexual males as a manner to assist forestall the unfold of HIV, however I want it was additionally supplied to everybody who’s in danger, together with girls. There appears to be a false impression that girls — particularly married cisgender girls — are protected by monogamy.

I’ve labored arduous to unfold the message that PrEP can and needs to be utilized by each grownup who’s sexually energetic. When dwelling in Miami, I labored in neighborhood well being, serving to present hormone remedy and PrEP for high-risk girls. We had a cellular clinic and parked exterior strip golf equipment and locations the place intercourse staff have a tendency to hang around. We’d invite them into the cellular clinic, supply them scorching cocoa, load them up with condoms, assist them schedule physician appointments and encourage them to be on PrEP — providing a one-year voucher for PrEP, which may be costly should you don’t have medical insurance.

I’ve since left that tremendous job to assist look after my boyfriend’s getting old dad and mom. Although that can be fulfilling work, it doesn’t change my deep want to assist educate others on the significance of utilizing PrEP. I plan to launch a nonprofit within the coming months that may present hormone remedy and data on PrEP.

Within the meantime and past, I encourage all sexually energetic girls to speak to their healthcare suppliers about PrEP — even when they must carry it up themselves.

I additionally encourage girls to at all times use a condom when having intercourse. As useful as PrEP is for stopping HIV, it doesn’t defend you from another STIs.

I usually consider how a lot is requested of girls by our society, and the way we’re not allowed to outshine males. This societal stress can typically make girls depending on males. However we should shine brighter than that and remember that defending ourselves is a giant a part of loving ourselves so we will then love others within the healthiest methods doable.

This academic useful resource was created with assist from Gilead.

*Final identify withheld for privateness.

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